Should I Stay or Should I Leave My Relationship?
Should I stay or should I leave?
Tough question…
And painful. Painful to stay feeling unfulfilled and unloved. Painful to leave not knowing if it’s the right decision. Especially if you have children.
There’s a reason why you want to figure out if your current relationship is right for you.
Maybe you want to…
- experience a deep & fulfilling connection
- be seen and appreciated for who you’re
- feel at home with your partner, peaceful and relaxed
- enjoy excitement and passion
The problem is, if you’re not sure whether to stay or not, this uncertainty can destroy your relationship.
You need to know your love blueprint to make a decision that benefits everyone involved.
Which one are you? Read on to find out.
Once you know your blueprint, you’ll know your weak and strong points. You’ll understand why it’s not easy for you to decide whether or not you should stay in your current relationship.
Our parents and grandparents most probably chose to be in a relationship for financial security and raising children. But now we are in glorious times of relationship fulfilment. We don’t have to stay in an unsatisfying relationship.
Though, we don’t know how to choose.
As a result, some people decide they deserve better and prematurely move on, only to find themselves in a similar situation with a new partner three years later.
Others separate and stay stuck in guilt and resentment, which makes it really hard to find a new more fulfilling relationship.
Yet others stay in their relationship, half in and half out, and they carry a lot of resentment. They stay because they avoid making a choice. And because they don’t actively choose to stay, they feel stuck, unhappy and the relationship gets destroyed as a result.
If you leave a relationship without finding out how and why you got there in the first place, where it went wrong and if there’s something you can do to change your relationship, you most probably will find yourself in a similar relationship in the future.
Now you’ll learn the 4 major love blueprints, how your blueprint affects your love life and your ability to make the right decision.
Love Blueprint 1: Sleeping Beauty
Sarah got a sleeping beauty blueprint. She is waiting for someone to discover her and make her happy. All her focus is on that other, her partner Blake. She is waiting for him to connect, to see her, to make her feel beautiful and loved. The only problem is, Blake is too preoccupied with his work and he says he doesn’t need that much connection. He says Sarah wants too much and is too needy. (Blake got blueprint #2).
Sarah remembers that her mum was loving, but sometimes she would get too busy with her horses and forget about Sarah. Sarah talks about her mum as being too unpredictable and too inconsistent.
Sarah yearns for intimacy and affection and sometimes Blake is right there, but Sarah just can’t relax. She is constantly afraid of losing the connection. That drives Blake crazy and he withdraws saying that nothing is ever good enough for Sarah. Sarah criticises Blake for not being there for her, not listening to her and being emotionally unavailable.
Sarah often thinks to herself: “I’m just not enough for him. I’m not beautiful enough, not smart enough. I must be too fat. I’m just not loveable”. Sarah worries about a lot of things and is constantly waiting for life or people to disappoint her.
Is this your love blueprint? Do you tend to blame yourself? Are you preoccupied with your relationship and try to figure out who do you need to be for them to love you? Do you criticise your partner for not giving you the love you want?
The first step is to shift the focus from your partner to yourself. Stop trying to figure out what they think and what else you need to do to get their love. You’re loveable. Focus on yourself and find out what’s going on with you. What do you need? Start taking care of yourself, spend more time with your friends and enjoy your hobbies.
The challenge for you is to get a clear space to make a decision, to stop wrapping yourself into a pretzel to keep the relationship. You also need to be aware of your thinking that ‘there’s no hope’. This way of thinking doesn’t help you to make a well-informed decision, because you might feel that no matter what you choose you’re doomed. Also, because of your love blueprint, it might be difficult for you to objectively see if you’re a good fit or not.
With a big warm hug,
Tarisha